Sunday, November 4, 2012

Coffee STAT!

What is this mythical "extra hour of sleep" I've been hearing about all over my FB feed? If I am reading it correctly, it insinuates that these people actually get an EXTRA hour of sleep today. How is this possible, I asked myself; and then it occurred to me that these people belong to the category of Childless Humans. These "extra hour sleepers" are also the ones staying out partying until dawn, nursing a hangover in a tomb quiet house, watching TSN or the morning news without having to negotiate with toddlers for the TV, and wearing hoop earrings and platform shoes whenever they frigging feel like it.

There is also a sub-category to The Childless Human: Parents of Older Kids. These people have offspring that are either grown and moved out of their house, or they are sleepy teenagers who refuse to get up before noon. Either way, Parents of Older Kids have survived their kids' childhood, and as a reward, they are granted an annual 60 minutes of additional sleep. How I envy their benefits package...

In our house, I was not foolish enough to anticipate extra sleep- my kids' internal clocks will wake them up at their regular time. What I didn't foresee, however, was them waking up even earlier than usual. Ugh. I'm almost certain the moon was still out. Daylight savings time does not mean an extra hour of sleep- for us Parents of Small Children, it just means an extra long day trying to entertain, educate, and nurture these sleepless little bastards. (I'm joking! I love them. I just clearly need my fourth cup of coffee right now...excuse me.) { I have been up for five hours already...or does that "extra" hour count for two? Do I carry the 7 and multiply it by the power of 10?! Have I been up for 87 hours straight!!??!! Baaaaaaahhhhh! }

*slaps myself* Hold it together bitch! It's almost over. Stay strong Parents of Little Kids- we'll get them back some day. Until then, have another coffee and steal a nap on the couch when they aren't looking.

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