Wednesday, September 28, 2011

31 Day Challenge

     Today was boring. Like poke your own eyes out kind of boring. Like change your marital status on Facebook just to get messages kind of boring. Like you could easily daydream for eight hours straight and not miss anything when you snap out of it kind of boring. I think that I have a touch of cabin fever, or Autumn induced anxiety, or restless leg syndrome. Or perhaps I'm stuck in another rut (I am getting fatter so it's harder to climb out of these pesky ruts...). I've become complacent again- content to let life merely happen instead of exerting the effort into making life fantastic; I vow to spice things up a considerably. I love this time of year- the smell and the ensuing crunch of leaves on the ground when stepped on, the bite in the air that welcomes jeans and sweaters out from the depths of closets everywhere, the aroma of chili and freshly baked bread coming from my kitchen. October is therefore the perfect month for me to challenge myself to get off my ass and quite simply put- be more damn fun. Here is my "31 Day Challenge" to do at least one different thing every day of this coming month.

   In October I Will:

1st- Plan a free/uber cheap outing with Nick and the kids
2nd- Take the kids (and maybe the dog if I'm feeling stupid) for a walk down our road.
3rd- Play Wii's Just Dance 2 with Dryden for an hour.
        Speech class with Lynn.
4th- Start and complete a craft project from my "Crafts I Love But Will Probably Never Do" list
5th- Go visit someone I haven't seen in a while.
       Call Neesha just to chat.
6th- Write a letter to a friend.
7th- Decorate the house for Fall.
        Take the dog for a walk.
8th-  Date Night with Nick (Saturdays will soon be reserved for date nights with the Habs so I have to hurry)
9th- Take the kids to the park.
10th- Schedule a play date (for me and/or the kids.)
         Speech class with Lynn.
11th- Visit someone else I haven't seen in a long time.
         Call Karley just to chat.
12th- Dig out my scrapebooking stuff and work on finishing that last album.
13th- Do an outside craft with the kids.
         Write a letter to a friend.
14th- Lunch date with Nick.
15th- Go to McMaze for a wagon ride and pumpkins.
16th- Go for a drive for poutins/ ice cream
17th- Do a Halloween craft with the kids.
         Speech class with Lynn.
18th- Make a "blanket fort" in the living room and set up a tea party.
         Call Ashley just to chat.
19th- Go for a walk solo.
         Write a letter to a friend.
20th- Go visit someone I keep promising an outing with...lots of choice there actually :)
21st- Full on Spa Night: bubble bath, candles, Pepsi, new book, mani/pedi, facial, anything else I can manage before getting sleepy
22nd- Throw our annual B.Y.O.P Halloween Party!
23rd- Go out for breakfast- maybe invite some brave friends to join us?
24th- Have Erica/ Nyesha over for a play date lunch.
         Speech class with Lynn.
25th- Go visit someone, anyone really.
         Take the kids for a walk- definitely no dog this time, I already know it.
26th- Write a letter to a friend.
          Call Marie to chat.
27th- Play Wii with Dryden for an hour.
28th- Start and complete a craft project.
29th- Plan an outing with Nick
30th- Plan an outing with Nick and the kids...and maybe the dog. We'll see.
31st- Go visiting to hand out Halloween goodies to family and friends.
         Take the kids trick or treating with Marie and Erica.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Death by Play Dough & Other Random Thursday Occurances

          A few things to note today. As Mommy, I have an official proclamation to make: Hear ye! Hear ye! From here on in, we at the Pomainville residence, will no longer be purchasing, or accepting, food scented play dough. Furthermore, play dough will only be played with on the dining room table, out of reach of enormous 100lbs dogs who cannot tell the difference (or don't care that there is a difference) between actual cherries, and a blob of soft, red plastic-y shit that smells vaguely like cherries. Nick's attention was diverted for 30 seconds while he dove to save Noelle from doing a face plant off the sofa and smashing any remaining teeth she still has in her little mouth; while his back was turned, Saku ate 1/2 a pound of play dough off the kiddie table that Dryden was playing with. Dryden, in turn, pitched a fit because he wanted his toy back (watch for it in the yard tomorrow my little friend) and kept making the sign for "more." Cute as that was...we only had the one container of play dough in the house...which was now inside the dog...which we now have to watch like a hawk to ensure that he doesn't barf on our brand frigging new carpet that we just had installed yesterday [ he has this quirk- he will only barf on carpet. I've watched him sprint around the house looking for a carpet to up-chuck on instead of heading to the door.] Also, I have two loads of freshly washed and dried laundry that has to be redone as Dryden insisted on wearing half of it while sitting on top of the other half as he ate a filled-to-the-brim blueberry fritter. Keep in mind, this was all accomplished in the 45 minutes that I was gone to my ultrasound.

     I had yet another ultrasound today; they couldn't get pictures of the heart last time and the umbilical cord was between the fetus' legs so we weren't able to tell if the kids were getting a new brother or sister (I was betting on a boy- I was positive that I saw him flip the technician the bird...) So I waddled in there today, my fingers crossed. My legs were crossed too- I had to pee sooo badly. She was able to get all the heart pictures she needed and the little pound-of-butter sized baby waited until the last minute to open its legs and clue us in to what we'll be bringing home in the New Year. Before she told me (I can't tell what anything is on those ultrasounds. I usually just nod and say "oh yes, I see, the bladder, right...) the technician asked what we were hoping for: a boy or a girl?

     This is a loaded question that Nick and I have been asked over and over again. We respond that it really doesn't matter, we just want a healthy baby and we always get The Face in response. The Face says, "What a crappy, unoriginal answer..." I know it is- I hate it when people give me bland, orchastrated answers like that too; however, to us a plain, regular old baby sounds great regardless of what color we get to dress it in. A boy would be fun for Dryden- a brother to play with, another boy to get into mischief with, a built-in buddy. The Pomainville brothers. It has a nice ring to it. They'll be sharing a room so the blue walls wouldn't need to be changed. Yeah, a boy would be great!

     How about another daughter? I simply won't lie; deep in my heart of hearts, I would love another daughter. I don't know how to say this without diminishing the sheer amount of love I have for Noelle and the pure joy that she brings me every single day, but I would consider myself truly blessed to know the experience of having a typical daughter as well. I realize that I am asking to have my (triple layer, death by chocolate, covered in fudge icing) cake and eat it too, but if I am to be honest...then a daughter is what I was hoping for. When Noelle was born, I enjoyed her as a baby, but I also dreamed about the future: sports tournaments and dance recitals, slumber parties and spa trips, first dates and prom, sending her off to university, helping her plan a wedding, maybe holding her first child. It was fun to fantasize while I was up late, feeding her in the dark, deep silence of night. When we were first told that Noelle was special, I took a few days to secretly, and privately mourn the loss of the future that I had seen for her. My heart grieved for those milestones that I now knew she wouldn't experience. After a few days, I got over it. I don't know how, I don't remember what was said to me, or what I did to look past it but I did. And have never looked back. Why would I dwell on the things she can't or won't do? That seems stupid to me. I honestly look forward to the Noelley Milestones: play groups and new friends, first day of school and swimming lessons, pet and music therapy, graduating high school (who am I kidding- I'll be so fucking proud even if it is from the special class. Noelle will have an entire cheering section in the auditorium that day), and traveling the world with her father and I. I know she might not accomplish all of these things- I also know she'll accomplish one's that I haven't even thought of for her yet- that's what's so great about Noelle: she is such an unknown that we eagerly wait and watch every day to see what she will do, or at least try to do. I know that if we had another little girl I wouldn't compare the two- how could I? It would be like comparing warm brown butter glazed apple tart with lemon chiffon whipped cream to...vanilla ice cream. The first is far more complex, the second, a crowd pleaser. Pair them together though, and amazing! (Can you tell that I am pregnant? Everything relates back to my current cravings lol)

     I waited a beat before answering the ultrasound technician and replied, "I kinda want both." She laughed and said, "Well, will you settle for a daughter? You'll have to try for a boy next time. Congratulations."
Wow. A little girl. I went home and was greeted with the play dough mayhem and shared the news. Nick and I were happy; Dryden is tickled that he'll have his very own baby (we've yet to break the news that she won't actually be his) and Noelle just made the sign that she wanted "more" chocolate pudding. She'll be happy that all her favorite baby toys will be resurfacing soon. Today, life seems pretty good. We're all happy and healthy- something we know never to take for granted- the kids hardly fought at all this afternoon, and Nick and I have a firm grip on the most important grace we've been given: the ability to accept the things that we cannot change and the knowledge that everything happens for a reason. Nick was able to sum up exactly how I felt when he said, "Now we'll have one of each: a boy, a girl, and a Noelley." xo

Monday, September 12, 2011

Will Work For T-shirts

     Miss Noelle was tired tonight. She fell asleep on my lap shortly after supper and remained sleeping and snoring softly after I tucked her into her big girl bed- a rarity. Now the question was: how to keep Dryden quiet so Noelle doesn't wake up (her bedroom is on the main floor, unlike the rest which are up on the second floor.) So I packed some snacks and drinks and took Mister upstairs. He was pouting miserably, stomping his displeasure out with each step up the stairs thinking he was being shipped off to bed. He perked up visibly when we passed his bedroom and continued down the dark hallway. "Oooo Momma's [room]" he said with a smile. I tucked him into our bed with his numerous babies and stuffed dogs (all of whom are unoriginally named "Saku"), put his snacks beside him on the bedside table, and popped in a DVD. I don't even feel the least bit guilty for letting Shrek babysit my youngest for the remaining hour and a half of the day. I, personally, am sick to death of Shrek so I took advantage of some spare time and spare energy - another rarity lately- and tackled part of my To Do List: I finished unpacking our bedroom. 

     I unpacked and organized my purged hoard of books and put them on the bookshelf and I finally finished unpacking my clothes. But I couldn't stop there. My dresser, closet, and armoire were bulging, threatening to burst the very next time I opened them. Dryden was busy, content to sing along and roar along with Shrek so I tentatively opened that can of worms: I organized my clothes. I put all the stuff that's slightly snug away (I'm the eternal optimist for my post-baby body), piled my sweaters according to color (don't feel bad, I hate me too right now) and unpacked my maternity clothes. I've definitely already dipped into that stash- do not be fooled; however, I was avoiding unpacking the entire box, choosing instead to root blindly around in there and wear whatever I managed to liberate from the box without taking the lid off completely. I purged through my assortment of shoes as well. A pair of flats, and a pair and a half of sandals (?) didn't make the cut. Their funeral will be held this Wednesday. Please, no flowers. And lastly, I went through my embarrassingly large collection of t-shirts. I tossed almost all of my "work" t-shirts (these are splattered with paint, plaster, modge podge, glitter, grout etc), an alarming number of tops that had a hole right at the belly button (they were otherwise fine...weird) and tons of Ts that were clearly too well worn to keep, some weren't even recognizable as usable tops. Am I the only one who keeps T-shirts until they almost disintegrate? Until they are almost...see through? If I'm not, then here's a shout out to all my other t-shirt hoarders...and if I am the only one- please don't judge.

     I kinda forgot about Dryden while I was on my mad purge-a-thon. I caught a glimpse of him from beyond the pile of discarded clothes; he was fast asleep under our duvet...drooling on Nick's pillow. I carted him off to his room, making a second trip for all his babies/puppies- I kissed all of them too (I have a feeling Dryden zonked out before he could complete that part of his bedtime ritual) and tucked everyone in for the night.

     Tomorrow, I might tackle the linen closet. Or not.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Tooth Fairy is Scrambling...

     I had an idea early on this morning of what I wanted to blog about tonight. I had plans with a girlfriend from high school this afternoon; she is down from Kingston and made time to come out to "the farm" to see me. I won't lie- I was primping for her. I cleaned the house and made coffee cake and fretted over my hair and outfit. And so of course, I was doomed to have one of those "nothing-fits-my-hair-looks-stupid" days. I settled for a decent outfit but couldn't find a necklace that went with it. My hair is in desperate need for some attention; its currently some quasi-shade of brownish red. I tossed it up into a messy bun and that was the best I could manage. I looked fine, but I felt...bad. I definitely didn't feel attractive, or polished, or well put together. Regardless, I was really excited to see Jane. An hour before she was due to stop by, I received a panicked phone call from Nick, "Call the dentist and tell him we're coming. Noelle had an accident at speech therapy and smashed her face on the cement floor." (Why does a facility made to treat children with mental and physical disabilities have concrete floors? Shouldn't that entire building be made out of Styrofoam!?) That was it. I grabbed the phone...and where the hell did we put the phone book? Did we even unpack it?? My hands were shaking and my inflamed heart was racing. I dialed 411 and waited for the number. Meanwhile, Dryden- oblivious to the situation and to Mommy's anxiety- picked that moment to saunter into the kitchen and pitch a fit. I yelled at him loudly and harshly and shooed him (and his confused, heart broken tears) away. After I called the dentist, I made amends with Dryden by snuggling with him on the bean bag chair, and waited for an hour to hear back from Nick. A very long hour.

     Nick called back and said that we were being sent to CHEO. I scribbled a hasty letter to Jane and taped it to the door and arranged for Dryden to stay at my mother's. As I approached our car I got my first good look at poor little Noelley. Her carefully chosen top was stained brown, her mouth was outlined with dried blood and her lips were already blue/black, puffed out into a semi-permanent pout. All I can say is God bless the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario- they fit us in an hour earlier than booked, prepped her for for the procedure swiftly and without fuss, and removed her two front teeth in less than five minutes. Normally, I'm a hard ass. I have no problem holding the kids down for needles, blood work, and procedures. I'm not emotional- let's get it done now is my attitude. Today, I struggled to hold it together. I was weepy and very little help to Nick. I couldn't wait to get home and snuggle with Noelle on the rocking chair- I was a softy and didn't know what to do. Cuddling on the rocking chair, watching her sleep, I took a good long look at her bruised face and newly formed gap in the middle of her formerly perfect smile. What an idiot I felt like. I felt stupid for worrying about what to wear or that I needed a dye job. Right now I feel like this whole blog is sometimes stupid- me struggling to find a way to put myself first, to cling desperately to the person I used to be. I'm not first anymore. I would gladly wear rags and shave my head to re-do today minus Noelle's accident. I sometimes get caught up in the insignificant that I overlook the glaring obvious- I am lucky enough to be a mother and everything else pales in comparison.

     After copious amounts of ice cream for Noelle and generous helpings of Pepsi for Mommy, Dryden came home and kissed "Wowelle's" bobo. I have good kids. I have a good husband who kept his cool while I played the cliche blubbering mom and he held Noelle down while her teeth were pulled from her gums. I also have good friends. I know Jane understands and forgives me for standing her up without even having to speak to her- that's why our friendship has survived so many years and so many miles in between. My much debated outfit is stained with blood and drool and I don't even care. Because at the end of the day, I already have a ton of necklaces and my hair looks just fine pulled back into the standard pony tail. It took a shitty day to remind me what is important here at the Pomainville house and I'm grateful for the lesson.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Enjoying Country Time

     Finally moved and (almost) completely settled in. It's been an incredibly long two and a half weeks. When we first decided to buy this house, we agreed that we weren't going to renovate or fix it up in any way. Our (overly ambitious) plan is to live in this old house while we build a new house in front of it, then tear this place down. However, ten days before we moved in, our allergies convinced us that a new plan was needed. The old carpets were killing us slowly, draining our lifeforces directly though our noses and blinding us behind curtains of dust induced tears. Now we had to hustle to pull out the old carpets (who the hell were we kidding- as if I could pretend to like neon blue shag rugs and hunter green stairs for more than a few days anyways) and put new floors one week. And then we figured, if we're putting in new floors- why are we tolerating a lavender kitchen complete with canary yellow wallpaper as the back splash? (I shit you not.) So new paint was thrown on every wall pretty damn fast and the trim work was given a new sparkling white life. All this before we even moved a god damn box.

     Moving day: Thank God Nick has friends. Nick, Marc, and Nick M moved every box we had packed (and even packed what I didn't have time to throw in boxes yet) in one day. Marie took Dryden for an Auntie Date Day, so I was left with Noelley to unpack and choreograph some semblance of organization. We were all exhausted.

     This last week: Nick's last week of holidays just so happened to be this week. We were able to reassemble furniture (eff you Ikea and your stupid allan keys too), hang up curtains, shelves, and millions of other things that would have dragged on forever if Nick didn't have an entire week at home. The kids have been genuinely great- they even think that the ridiculously slanted floors are fun and they giggle with each creaking step up the staircase. As for Saku, he loves it here. It took Nick six days after we moved in to install the electric, underground fence to keep him (Saku, not Nick) on our property. During that week, the goldendoodle got braver and bolder, getting closer and closer to the road- daring us to yell or chase him. The day that Nick connected the fence we were both resting on the back deck (which incidentally, needs to be scraped and re-stained...Spring maybe) watching the dog. He strutted his stuff all the way to the ditch in front of our property and looked back at us, giving us one seriously cocky doggy look, and stepped out towards the road. Nick and I are kinda mean because we didn't yell at him or warn him. All of the sudden he yipps and jumps in the air as if someone goosed him in the bum and hauled ass back across the yard towards the deck- turning every now and then to give the road a dirty look. Problem solved: Saku is no longer interested in what lies beyond the ditch, go figure!

     Nick is back at work. The house is fairly put together. The kids are content. Now what? I I have spare time?? Good lord, time to give myself a mani/pedi before I remember that I should be doing something...Cheers! xo