Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Screw you Crayola

     Today was an educational day. Every day as a parent, I learn something new from my kids; today was no different. Today I discovered that:

1- It is unspeakably stupid to give a three year old and a 19 month old a package of crayons and paper and expect them to use said crayons on the paper once your back is turned.
2- A Magic Eraser takes crayon off walls and furniture amazingly fast.
3- Apparently wax crayons smell super fantastic and toddlers and dogs cannot resist the temptation to taste them.
4- Crayons are conveniently shaped with the perfect diameter to wedge deep into ear canals (to tickle one's brain?) and up noses...and not necessarily their own nose. The dog's nose is fair game if he is foolish enough to stay in the same room as crayon wielding kids.
5- Four or five crayons, side by side on the floor, act as a swiftly moving conveyor belt if stepped on...sending you crashing on (a) your ass or (b) your head
6- Regardless whether there are 100 crayons on the table, both my kids will fight over the Canary Yellow one. And they don't even know colors yet- they just know that the other kid was happy holding the Canary Yellow crayon, so therefor they will be happier if they steal it.
7- I hate craft time.
8- I will never introduce them to finger paints of any kind. Ever.
9- Saku may or may not poop a multi-colored rainbow for the next few days.


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