I need to be truthful; I need to strip away the mask of humour that I rest behind. This blog is about accountability, honesty, and action above all else. I would love to get to the naked, shivering truth behind my rut.
The obvious transition here would be that I no longer enjoy the sight of my own naked self...or my fully clothes self either for that matter. My body did not "bounce back" after having my babies. My muscles did not have memory; apparently they are old and senile and currently in a nursing home. I've never had to lose weight before and I am terrible at it. I have tried earnestly and wholeheartedly and I am still 50 lbs over weight. I have a lovely neighbour who, after her pregnancy, worked very hard and returned to her pre-baby, bikini-worthy, look-at-me-everything-fits self (as I enviously look over at her house and sip on my Pepsi Max. Real Pepsi taste and no calories my foot.) I have another friend- that I love- who recently had a baby...and is now 5 lbs lighter than before. At a party over the holidays I overheard her say, "Oh no! I hate excercise! It must have been the breastfeeding." (As I mentally karate chopped her.)
I must say that I have surrendered to inactivity. At the end of the day, after the kids are engulfed by the promise of dreams, after the dog is played with and fawned over, and after I've managed to tidy my house enough to fool a stranger that wild hogs and feral children do not reside here- I am friggin' exhausted.
How do other moms do it!? How do they (effortlessly or painfully) make time to work out? Can I...will I re-prioritize? YES! ** so long as it does not interfere with mine and Law and Order's scheduling commitments
Oh my all I can say is that I feel for you girl, but you can write. I mean you write so well and express yourself that while reading this blog I'm feeling what you are saying. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have a great gift with words and know how to put them together.
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