Today, somewhere between picking soggy cheerios off my slippers and chasing our 18 month old son to retrieve the dirty diaper he was trying to feed our goldendoodle, it occured to me- I am in a rut. If my pre-mommy self could see me now...she'd kick my ass. I actually did groceries without makeup or even brushing my hair this weekend! I used to go to the gym and play sports. Now I'm overweight and only play various forms of peek-a-boo. I used to have girlfriends that I cherished as sisters. Now their kid-free lives are foreign and they've moved on and left me behind. I used to go out, dance like an idiot, drink my face off, and laugh hysterically. I was in bed by 9 last night. A rut I tell you. A deep, John Deere tractor tire gouged rut.
I need to find a healthy balance between my "Mommy" persona, and the social/healthy/outgoing/active adult I crave to be. I refuse to wait. Tomorrow is my chance to start over. Tonight, however, I need to make jello jigglers and fish cutlery out of the heating vents.