Monday, April 4, 2011

Clean Sweep

     Last night, before turning in for the night, my husband set his alarm in order to wake up early to tackle some chores before leaving early for work. We both slept soundly, enveloped in a dreamless, restful respite from the world. Our sleep was pierced at 8am sharp by an ear splitting "Waaaaaaaaiiiiieeeee.......BHAAAAA!" Now, we are unaccustomed to being woken up by the sounds of a dying coyote so Nick jumped out of bed and headed towards the kids' rooms. When he flung open our son's door, there was Dryden, sprawled out on the floor- gasping for air between wails; the red kiss of a bruise already forming on his perfect little forehead. Turns out Dryden was productively utilizing his time early this Monday morning- he finally discovered how to climb out of his bed and land directly on his head. Early morning soothing eventually gave way to breakfast and Nick's ambitious plans were replaced with some father/son bonding time spent lowering Dryden's crib to the lowest possible setting. Operation "Big Boy Bed" may have to be deployed sooner than anticipated...or at the very least I should put Dryden to bed with his hockey helmet on.

      This weekend, after countless hours of brainstorming, I devised a customizable four- point plan for the perfectly cleaned house:

Step 1- Make your significant other participate in this years spring cleaning and divide the list to ensure that he gets all the worst chores.
Step 2- Do not interrupt him while he bitches non stop while cleaning; on the contrary, agree with him. "Yes, I agree, scrubbing the tub is hard on your back." "Yeah, I have a hard time getting the windows streak free too."
Step 3- Mention that with a bi-monthly house cleaner, he wouldn't have to do this with you ever again.
Step 4- Sit back with a steaming cup of peppermint tea while he interviews house cleaners.

     I wish I was joking. But I'm not- this plan actually worked. Although I must admit, I do have reservations about hiring someone to come every second week to clean my house. Firstly, I'd feel incredibly pretentious telling people that we have a house cleaner. It is in no way a reflection of how much money we have; we are a one income household that adheres to a pretty strict budget. Secondly, I am not looking forward to the remarks and raised eyebrows of others. We don't really know anyone who employs a house cleaner and I anticipate some people asking (to my face hopefully) why I don't have time to clean my own house. Well, the long winded answer is quite simple: I like an especially clean house and I would like a fuller, more social and active life. Noelle currently has four weekly therapy appointments and a session every three weeks at home. We also try to socialize her in structured play groups every week. With the arrival of spring, we have been discussing swimming lessons and gymnastics for both kids and our social calender will only continue to swell with the changing of the seasons. If given the option of washing food and mud off my baseboards or taking the kids and dog to the park for an afternoon with friends, I'd like to be able to choose the latter.

     It will take some adjustments (mainly to the budget) but I have to agree that this might be a great choice for us: Nick won't have to wash another wall/ceiling fan/bathroom vanity and I'll have more room in my life to get outside an be a better example to our kids.

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