I am a prolific list maker. Our weekly meal plan is itemized on a list on the fridge, our grocery list complied on a note pad on the microwave, our numerous appointments charted meticulously on our calender in different colored ink. But my favorite and most obsessive thing is making "To Do" list. Chores that I'd like to tackle, home improvements that need attention, craft ideas to do solo or with the kids, phone calls and emails that need to be returned: I can, and do, make lists for everything. The feeling of accomplishment (and a little bit of self-righteousness I suppose) after crossing off each item on any list is an affirmation that I am a productive, organized, multitasking domestic maven. At the end of the day I line up all my list and bask in the fruits of my labour. Any left over things that just couldn't get checked off my list are transferred over to the top of tomorrow's list. Life is right on track with the annihilation of each and every list. Check!
But lately I've found myself lost in a hauntingly slow moving vortex of incomplete lists. Nothing is getting crossed off. How is it possible that I still haven't finished my passport application? Why is our office still a wilderness of unfiled papers that the dog keeps getting lost in? Why the hell didn't I tackle that fossilized blob of chocolate pudding on my formerly cloud white baseboards!? I'm going to have to use a chisel now. Seriously. Why does my day seem so short? I have the same 24 hours that everyone else takes advantage of...yet I am accomplishing far less.
My former cycle of list making, productivity, and self satisfaction has been interrupted...by both fatigue and television. By my calculations, I am 75% more exhausted from doing 57% less. Wait, that can't be correct. I failed grade 12 advanced math (twice) so who am I to throw around made up stats. What I need right now is an Al Pacino scene inserted right here, where he shows up and screams a moving and motivational monologue at me (and then wins an Oscar). What I also need to do is turn off the TV. Can I exist without the DIY Network on a continual loop in the back round? Will my confidence survive if I don't figure out who did it on "Scooby-Doo and Mystery inc" before my toddlers do? (Incidentally, they are terrible at that game- all they do is eat marshmallows and play with their feet. I win every time. Suckers)
Today is Day One of no TV. I'll have plenty of time to fit in some exercise and I'd like to do some reading and playing on the floor with Noelle and Dryden. Maybe we can dress up the dog and make him play too. I have an extensive and freshly made list that I am eager to start. The vortex is gone and list making equilibrium has been restored! crossing that off my list right now...
In the madness of grad school + working 60 hours a week I learned very hard lessons about giving up stuff that should be done. Yes I should do my laundry or the dishes or file my taxes. However my life would feel much better and I'd feel way less stressed if I go for a jog and give a gf a call. Now my house is dirty and my clothes are wrinkled but I'm happy.
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